Okay, Railroad Jerk, it's time to
Justify Your Existance

The question: Why should anyone buy your new record, One Track Mind?

Marcellus Hall (vocals): Nobody should buy our record. It's a piece of shit. And if they do--they really find that they have to buy it--then they should steal it. But only ours, and not other records.

The Onion: You don't want the royalties?

MH: Well, I mean, after putting out such a shitty record, we don't think we deserve it.

Onion: What records should people be buying, as opposed to yours?

MH: Um, Hootie and the Blowfish, maybe. Um, Black Crowes. Anything that's really popular. Whitney Houston.

Onion: Anything that's getting radio play?

MH: Anything that's backed by a major label and that's really big. The more advertising you're exposed to of a certain band, that's the artist you should patronize.